I’ve been learning about, and supporting, Highly Sensitive People for 15 years. Until recently, there was always an intangible element, a universal piece of the struggle, that I couldn’t put my finger on.
When I became overwhelmed and drained by someone’s mood, I felt powerless to do anything about it. In fact, a part of me had resigned myself to the fact that this was “just how it’s going to be for me and others like me.”
Now, as I've learned about energetic boundaries and how to heal them, I know that feeling powerless and overwhelmed is not a given!
While we’ve discussed the fact that your energetic boundaries can become rigid, permeable, and poked full of holes, let me share more with you about how they become damaged.
You may want to grab some tea and a soft blanket - this post packs a punch!
While good energetic boundaries help make life doable, having holey EBs is akin to walking around with an open wound, making us vulnerable to infection (no good!).
While not an exhaustive list, here are the top 3 types of things that can damage your energetic boundaries:
Let’s pause a moment. If you experienced any of the above, just hearing it listed could bring up feelings of discomfort.
Take a moment to notice if you’re having any sensations in your body, emotions, or thoughts. Take a few belly breaths if you need to.
You may be thinking, “yes, I experienced some of that. But it’s over. Isn’t thinking about that just dwelling on the past?”
While I hear you, the fact is that those experiences may have damaged your energetic boundaries in ways you’re still feeling today. And if any of those dynamics are still repeating themselves, it’s even more important that you take a look at this topic.
Please know that recognizing whether you've been through anything on that list is important in and of itself. Over and over, I've seen that self-knowledge is power.
(Side note: being highly sensitive in a very intense world can be enough to sustain energetic boundary damage in and of itself! So if you don't relate to the above list but still feel like a sponge for others' emotions, that could be why)
If you want to take this a step further, consider journaling and asking yourself these questions:
I hope this message gives you some good stuff to chew on. I appreciate your desire to go deep; that's where the gold is!
Sending you wishes for a 2021 full of growth and new possibility.
P.S. If you'd like to be the first to know when my course for healing your energetic boundaries is available, sign up here to join the EB VIP list.
Brooke Nielsen, LMFT
Brooke Nielsen is a trauma-informed psychotherapist specializing in catapulting HSPs out of overwhelm and into a powerful calm. She founded Intuitive Warrior and the Therapeutic Center for Highly Sensitive People in Boulder, CO and has over a decade of expertise in trauma healing. Her Intuitive Warrior programs helps women and men discover the gifts that lie hidden in what they thought were the worst parts of themselves.
You are a gift to the world. You aren't alone. We need you here.